Deep thoughts from the Shop!

...this one is for you!

2008-07-08T12:43:00.003-06:00

The semi-monthly update is as follows: D is really, really, really busy. Really! As for me, well, I'm still trying to get over the recent land rush in our neighborHOOD. G-town residents, in an annual rite, descend on 10th AV to lay claim to their little chunk of grass. These claims, marked by blankets and tarps, serve as family plots for the worst parade ever. I really wish the locals would find something interesting to do with their time. Summer is also the time of year when the college waters all of the sidewalks near campus. I'm sure the talking heads are hoping the sidewalks grow into more parking lots. Hey, obese kids need schooling too. There is a difference between bar trash and dive-bar trash. Really! Progressives, pro-abortion - anti-capital punishment? Wal-mart still sucks, always!

Cheapus Bikeus Extinctus

2008-04-23T16:05:00.004-06:00

Ring....Ring....
TD, "bike shop, how may I help you?"
Dickwad, "dude, you sell used bikes?"
TD, "not very often, we have very limited space."
Dickwad, "ya, cuz I got like a hundred bucks and need a mountain bike."
TD, "try Goodwill, maybe you'll get lucky," then I can put new tubes and goo in it ($40), new tires ($50), give it a tune-up ($50), some new grips ($12), fix the cables ($20), get you a new rear wheel ($40), bottom bracket overhaul ($20), and fix the shifters ($40). Or you could just get a new bike for $250, and save yourself $172. Or you could go to wally world and get a bitchin ride and a couple of 40's, and live like the trailer park king you think you are...

Phuk You.

...seeking hot chicks

2008-03-27T13:24:00.006-06:00

D's dream has always been to be on http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com .There is, however, a small problem-his inability to find hot chicks to pose with. If anyone can find a couple of willing hotties, we could make his dream come true. If none are willing, maybe some photoshopper can be of assistance. Please don't let D down.

one shot, one chaser, one hand, one wheelie...

2008-03-14T14:29:00.003-06:00

Thin line between success and failure

2008-03-14T14:09:00.004-06:00

Sometimes we all forget the thin line between success and failure. I say this while D and "the Spaz"speak in fake German accents about nincompoopery. Oh the pain. The decisions that we make are often more important than we realize. In my line of work, the margin of error is very small. I wonder if the 53 on board realized how near they were to crossing the margin. For the record, it was not meee.

been gone too long

2008-03-06T15:21:00.004-07:00

Greeley is a haven for the intellectual elite. If you don't believe me just ask a college student, or any number of folks that have been treading water here since the 80's. Here is photographic proof, and if you can't find the irony maybe you, too, are one of the elite.

Lunch.

2007-01-11T12:43:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone,

Yeah, the shop's still open, even though this hasn't been updated in ages. I'm the new guy here on the blog, but if you've been around the shop before I'm sure I've met you. T & D are gone and I'm eating so I thought I'd say hey. I guess that's all I've got, stop by the shop and check out all our new Bianchi's and we've got Moots now too. Check them out or stop by. We like visitors, and even more, T & D like presents, so bring one in a purple bag. I'm out.

I'm the decider, coming soon: random philosophizery

2006-06-01T23:30:00.000-06:00

It has been a long while since the blogging juices have flowed through these here veins. First, a shout out to the AmeriSuites Charlotte staff for making my extended stay ok. Everyone in this southern gem drives like Dick Trickle on a road course. What is it about rednecks and their driving skills. The 4 number 8 flags flying from the pinto wagon must be in violation of some decency code. There is, believe it or not, an official dress code in NC. The "dirty wife beater" is actually the official shirt of the Carolinas. I read this in the brochure. Trying to get to Ruby Tuesday for a salad resembles a game of frogger. Yah, I know, chain restaurant, but there is absolutely nothing around the suite. Been studying way too much, feels like a job. Oh yah, it is. Just a reminder, hurricane season in officially upon us. I wish I could remember what kind of rum goes in that. I've been on a vodka and cranberry kick for a while, so my rumidness is rusty. The kids and I are communicating via web cam, kinda cool. Lil A, keeps saying, "dad get outa there", aint tech grand. I haven't been able to get the Mrs. talked into, you know, but a guy has got to try. Hey D, I got my mother f*!@ing movie check. Kind of missing G town, but there is not really that much around that suite either. That's it for now, but y'all should keep an eye out for that philosophizery stuff real soon.

T
the deciderest decider

sprung is springing

2006-03-17T13:02:00.000-07:00

Spring is upon us, almost. The season is starting off with a bang. In honor of the great patron saint of greenish beer and uncle Al, the worlds loudest country-ish band, Turn 4, is jamming at the Starlight tonight. We expect to see all of our readers there (especially those from WI and IL). By the way how is the turbo running J-dog. The chicken master has a new DVD out (12.99 on that really big mail order website). This is a must for those mentioned above. In addition the bucketed one is in fort fun on the 13 and 14th of April. Book your travel NOW. Don't forget your annual tune-up or gyno visit, whatever you need most. D is bitchin' about needing more shelves for his chains. We gots a lot a chains. Oh ya, I'll be in ATW on the 20th and 27th.

Spoons

2006-02-17T11:13:00.000-07:00

D and I are having a rather spirited debate today. I say that long spoons have better stirring torque than standard every day spoons. The ease of stir is very important to me. D likes the stirring control he/she gets from the, average ho-hum, regular spoon. D also adds better sensitivity and lump feel as attributes of the short spoon. I, on the other hand, prefer the superior vibration dampening and increased reach of the long spoon. Lets compare:
regular spoon---------------------------- long spoon
160 mm ----------- overall length---------- 200 mm
105 mm------------ handle -----------------150 mm
55 mm--------------spoon------------------ 50 mm
7 mm--------------- depth------------------ 6.6 mm
36 mm--------------bowl width------------- 32.5 mm

com tarter's bringing lunch

2006-02-15T12:18:00.000-07:00

Well, everybody else blogs about nothing so here goes. It is cloudy and cold today. D is busy wrenching away, and com tarter is on his way with noodles and tofu. I am sitting here thinking about hunting accidents and general bullsh*t. The furnace just kicked on and ZZ Top is playing on the ipod. The phone rang a few minutes ago, but no one was on the other end. A guy just walked in the door, D has it covered. Billy Gibbons is a really good guitar player. We got a new sticker today. Now a real sad song is playing, I may cry. No, I don't cry, much. The battery on my cell phone needs charged. I left the cord at home, hope it makes it all day. The phone rang again, it is a sales call. Some one has a better energy drink. I need more energy. Oh ya, that reminds me, com tarter is bringing lunch. Tofu is better that energy drinks, I think. D just told me that he got that one all cleaned up. Now he is making a note or something. Hum, hum. Where is com? The Hand Me Downs are singing now, I like them. Ipods are good. D just noticed the lack of com, burrrrrrp. I have been out of town for a few days, bump, bump. Aspen is nice this time of year. I must go back. Gee, I do, about 20 times next week. Where in the hell is my lunch. D just used the 1/4 inch drive torque wrench, he/she is happy. It is a really nice wrench. Now George Morgan is doing a very caucasian rap about truck drivin. How is the weather in Madison? Com is here. Lunch was great. Com rocks.

Thank God for long arms

2006-01-28T14:34:00.000-07:00

If God didn't want us to masturbate wouldn't our arms be really short? Not only was this guy a little stressed out, but he is extinct. Makes you think, over and over, a lot, and again, more than usual, one more time, just like that, that, that, ....aaarrrgggghhhhh! Like I said, longer arms are a good thing.

What the ....

2006-01-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

What is the international symbol for stay the hell out of my workshop? Maybe a little decapitated stick man with a 2X4 stuck in its a.. Evidently nobody on the planet earth can read (we do have a sign). Don't get me wrong, there is a select group of insiders that have earned the privilege of hanging in the shop. Alright, they have paid the price of admission; beer (or in some cases cheap whiskey). In my other life, you actually get shot for attempting to enter the "shop". No strange looks, no clearing of the throat, no excuse me, just carefully aimed bullets. Do people follow the doctor into the operating room? Do you saunter into the kitchen at Chili's? Do you follow the firemen into the fire? D is thinking maybe a half door between the show room and the shop. Not bad. I would rather get a tiger for a shop pet. How about some of those one-way spike things like the car rental places have. Sharpen those spikes, coat with poison and the problem will be solved. Is any one confused by the above sign.

Wind~~~~~~

2006-01-28T09:19:00.000-07:00

So, does the wind blow or suck. This poses a very serious question.

Sam from Chucks

2006-01-13T13:35:00.000-07:00

Do you want to be a member? Only a true member would ask a question like that. Koresh, Sun yung Moon, Ted Kennedy, those morons in the black suits, you know who the members are. Why would someone from the galaxy's largest mistake ask that question, because he too is a member. Members are everywhere. The guy that cut me off in traffic, the owner of the dog that barks all night, that Robertson guy, all members. People who park in bike lanes, whoever forgot to time all the traffic lights, sticks on gas powered scooters, members. Whiny ass new country western singers, boy bands, actors talking politics, members. That guy shaking his member in the back of the shop, non-member. People that complain/protest without offering solutions, members. People who say like all the time, slum-lords, those that call everything art, members. The inventor of pop-ups, bumper sticker philosophers, people that only turn left, members. Are you a member? If not, maybe Sam from Chucks will come by and ask if you want to become one.

The customer is always underpaid, overeducated, and just plain wrong.

2006-01-06T16:50:00.000-07:00

D is unhappy ;~( In case y'all don't know D and the spaz are master thingie sales units. Recently we had a hominid purchase said thingie from another thingie store. This is not, on its face, an issue. However, said hominid, had infiltrated the inner sanctum impersonating a groovy unit. We all were slightly bamboozled by the anthropoids pseudo phrenic conjurations. I believe that the biped up and secreted on its nadir. Not only were D's feelings damaged, but he/she's sence of self has been inexorably subjugated. Now the sanctum infiltrator will be forever religated to the threshold to contemplate the cool kids.

feeling low :-(

2005-12-01T15:29:00.000-07:00

D is feeling emo because the spaz kicked his/her box. It all started when the spaz needed to change the position of D's box. Insted of, say, nudging or skooching D's box, the spaz went and kicked it. Now the spaz is feeling all type A and whatnot, but D is way down. This puts me, T for those keeping track (evidently absolutely nobody), in a tough spot. Do I kick the spaz's box or fix D's box? Someone please help me.

hot bean beverage, ummmmmmmm good!

2005-12-01T12:38:00.000-07:00

D, the spaz, and I are all currently slurping a hot-diggidie independant/gigantic corporate cup of joe. Judging by the size of the paper cups they must be of the sub-vente/grande+ish size. Mine is warm and smelly, lightly pungent in aromatic quality, and lightened with a little moo. D says his/hers, after adding a large balast of brown suger, is muddish yet carmel by the seaish. (Do you feel lucky, punk?) "Um I'm pleasently pleased." The spaz thought its was too independantly corporate until poured into a giganticly corporate travel mug. Overall, we agree it was worth the 10 minute wait.

3.75 out of 4 little lambs

the once in a while food place review #1

2005-11-29T16:07:00.000-07:00

Carl's Jr.
D and I recently coasted to the Carl burger for some genetically altered beef like sandwichy type thing. We seem to always go for the $6 variety, so we loaded the seat bag with an even $11 in anticipation of a little professional courtesy. I opted for the Western while D chose the SuperStar with cheese (no onion and no tomato, D is a high maintenance drama queen;). The friendly lady at the counter told me that I owed her $9.57, obviously she knew who she was serving lunch to. I'd have to say that the Western $6 burger (bling bling local celebrity price of $4.79 with tax for the man) was a delight. D also found the SuperStar delish but only after a short visit from heimlich. We will be back for sure.

3 out of 4 little lambs

why not? all the kids are doing it

2005-11-29T14:45:00.000-07:00

Cawww! Caw caw caw caw caw caw caw. Caw, cawwww caaaaawwwww. Cawwwww caw caw caw caw, caw caw caw caw. Cawwwww caaaawwwww; caww caw caw caw caw caw caw. Caw caw caw caw "caaaaaawwwwwww, caw." Caw caw caw caw caw, caw caw caw caw caw caaaaawwwwww, caw caw caaaaww. Caaaawwww!
Caw caw cawwwwww caaaawwwww caw caw caw. Caw caw caw caw, caw caw "rufff, ruffff ruffff, ruff rufff rufff!" Caw caw caw!!!! Caw caw caw caw caw caw cawwww. Caw caw "meooooowwww, meowwwww." Caw.... Caw caw cawwww caaaaaw.

Caw!
Corvus Corax